Publish Date: April 6, 2007
Dear Dr. Tracy,
I am a 33 year old porced woman with four kids. I was married for 12years and I have been porced for approximately 3 years. I met my new boyfriendduring my porce. We hit it off and have been together ever since. He is a 44year old porced man. When I met him he had been porced for 2 years. Well, Imet his ex-wife and she seemed to be an okay person. What I found out 3 monthsinto my relationship with him was that he was fooling around with his ex-wifeagain-- who also at this time had a boyfriend of her own. I figured that since Idid not have a committed relationship with him, I had no place to say anything.The problem is it continued further into our relationship, up to the point whenI found out I was pregnant. At the same time I found out that he and his ex-wifeplanned to go to his family reunion together. Of course before all of this, Idrove by his house one night and saw her car parked outside his home. The excuseI got after all of this was that they were considering getting back together. Ithought it was very funny that as soon as she met me, she found interest in himagain.
I guess my issue is the fact that now I am still in this relationship. Ihave brought a child into this nonsense and I hate the fact that he keeps incontact with her. My boyfriend has taken responsibility for her son from aprevious relationship. His excuse for having so much contact with his ex-wife isbecause of that boy. I know this is not true but I have no real proof otherwise.I have also dealt with him taking women to hotels and my gut tells me it washer, but he promises it was not her.
I have tried to get over all the cheating. I know that she is very close tohis family and I also know that his family does not like me because I stand upfor myself. I guess the bottom line is knowing how much contact his ex-wife haswith him and the fact that he knows I can’t stand her. Am I in a weirdrelationship with a man that wants to have his cake and eat it too? Or am Ibeing paranoid and need to trust him when he says he does not want her. I havenever had so much animosity towards two people in my life. I do love this man,but I feel like I have put myself back in an unhealthy relationship with a manthat is trying to lie to me.
To be totally honest, now that I have his child I even hate the fact thathe helps her son. She never has to ask for anything regarding that boy, but Ihave to constantly remind him when our son needs something. He does it for theother boy without thinking, but my son is a second thought even when I havesaid, “Look at your son. He is in dire need”. I was married to a cheating manand hooked up with another cheating man. I wonder if it’s just my bad choices inmen.