《自深深处》精选段落赏析

　　【原著选段】

　　I let myself beluredinto long spells ofsenseless and sensual ease. I amused myself withbeing a flneur, a dandy, a man of fashion. Isurrounded myself with the smaller natures and the meaner minds. I became the spendthrift of my owngenius, and to waste an eternal youth gave me acurious joy. Tired of being on the heights Ideliberately went to the depths in the search for newsensations. What the paradox was to me in the sphereof thought, perversity became to me in the sphere ofpassion. Desire, at the end, was a malady, or amadness, or both. I grew careless of the lives ofothers. I took pleasure where it pleased me andpassed on. I forgot that every little action of thecommon day makes orunmakescharacter, and thattherefore what one has done in the secret chamberone has some day to cry aloud on the housetops. Iceasedto be Lord over myself. I was no longer theCaptain of my Soul, and did not know it. Iallowed you to dominate me, and your father tofrighten me. I ended in horrible disgrace. There isonly one thing for me now, absolute Humility: just asthere is only one thing for you, absolute Humility also. You had better come down into the dust and learnit beside me.

　　【朱纯深译本】

　　我让自己受诱惑，糊里糊涂地掉进声色的放浪而不能自拔，以作为一个纨绔子弟、花花公子、风流人物自快，让身边围着一些不成器的小人。挥霍自己的才华，把一个永恒的青春抛掷，让我莫名其妙地觉得快活。在高峰顶上呆腻了，便成心下到谷底，寻求新的刺激。在思想范畴中我视作似非而是的悖论，在激情领域中成了乖张变态的情欲。欲望，到头来，是一种痼疾，或是一种疯狂，或两者都是。对别人的生死我变得漠不关心，只要自己高兴就快活一下，过后便掉头走了。我忘了，日常生活中每一个细小的行为都能培养或者败坏品格，因此，一个人在暗室里干的事，总有一天要在房顶上叫嚷出去的`。我不再主宰自己，不再执掌自己的灵魂，也不认识它了。我让你支配我、让你的父亲吓唬我，终于弄得脸面丢尽。对于我，只剩下一样东西了：绝对的谦卑；对于你，同样只剩下一样东西了：也是绝对的谦卑。你最好还是下来，在屈辱中与我一道学这功课。

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