男人说的话

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男人说的话

一：父亲问我人生有什么追求?我回答金钱和美女，父亲凶狠的打了我的脸;我回答事业与爱情，父亲赞赏的摸了我的头。

男人说的话

二：小时候经常听说有人因为生活压力大而自杀，那时我懂得死亡，却不明白压力是什么。现在长大了，我懂了什么是压力，开始不明白为什么还有那么多人活着……

三：老天爷给我一双眼睛，让我看到花花世界;老天爷又给我一双手，让我去勤奋劳动挣钱;老天爷再给我一张嘴，让我用它来咒骂老天爷的不公平……

四：又美丽、又纯洁又温柔、又性感、又可爱的处女，就像鬼魂一样，男人们都在谈论它，但从来没有人亲眼见过……

五：男人所说的内在美，指的是胸罩里面，而不是内心!

六：我退化了，到现在我都还不会游泳，要知道在我出生前，我绝对是游的最快的那个……

七：人要学会自己寻找一些小幸福，比如到街上看一看那些不属于自己的美女，去银行看一看那些不属于自己的钞票，到车展上看一看那些不属于自己的跑车，然后在街上找一个乞丐看，告诉自己：没关系，刚才的那些也不属于他……

八：妹妹问我：哥，接吻是什么样的?我笑着告诉她：傻丫头，接吻是要说：猪……弟弟问我：哥什么是接吻啊?我说：接吻?张嘴，伸舌头。

九：真不明白，女孩买很多很多漂亮的衣服穿，就是为了吸引男孩的目光，但男孩想看的，却是不穿衣服的女孩。

十：再街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏。目光低一点就是流氓。

十一：维持生命在于运动，创造生命也在于运动，区别在于床下床上。。

十三：我喜欢把人生交给命运：早上醒来我都会抛硬币。如果正面向上，我就继续睡觉;如果背面向上，我就躺在床上看电视;如果是立起的，我就起来收拾屋子。

今天过节不收礼，收礼只收女朋友!祝光棍们节日快乐，早日收大礼!

又是一年光棍节，每逢此时倍思春，朋友安慰拼啤酒，父母亲戚忙说媒，别怕今年守空房，将来必定孙满堂——俺支持你!

以往的日子你是否依旧孤独，今后的日子你一定会过得热闹，在你面前桃花将会朵朵开放，祝：最后一个光棍节快乐!

汽车渴望公路，花草渴望雨露，太监迫切渴望著雄性激素。灵魂渴望超度，心灵渴望归宿，而你则迫切渴望著有个媳妇。祝光棍节快乐!

看别人都在拥抱，我偷偷吃酸葡萄。我每天都在祈祷，白雪公主会来到。我发出爱的信号, 还是没有人收到. 我摊开我的怀抱, 等待有人来依靠. 美女假装看不到, 别人笑了我就跑.

不应有恨，何时才能把梦圆。

男有高矮胖瘦，女有黑白美丑，此事古难全。

但愿人长久，光棍不再有!

扩展阅读：

非常经典有深度的电影英文台词

1.一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。

One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone.

2.幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。

Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love.

3.爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。

Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last.

4.我爱你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。

I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you.

5.爱情，要么让人成熟，要么让人堕落。

Love makes man grow up or sink down.

6.举得起放得下的叫举重，举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜，大多数人的爱情，都是负重的。

If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love.

7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中，人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人，用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人，再用一天的时间去爱上一个人，到最后呢，却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。

We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone.

8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人，等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富，它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。

One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love.

9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱，但是随着年龄的增长，终于领悟到爱一个人，就算用一辈子的时间，还是会嫌不够。慢慢地去了解这个人，体谅这个人，直到爱上为止，是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。

When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind.

10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天，最后成为记忆里不www.oh100.com再重要的某一天，我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走，这不是静止火车里，与相邻列车交错时，仿佛自己在前进的错觉，而是我们真实的在成长，在这件事里成了另一个自己。

When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different.

11.离开我就别安慰我，要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。

If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain.

12.曾经拥有的，不要忘记。不能得到的，更要珍惜。属于自己的，不要放弃。已经失去的，留作回忆。

Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory.

13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离，这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。比如爱一个人，充满变数，我于是后退一步，静静的看着，直到看见真诚的感情。

I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings.

14.男人的爱是俯视而生，而女人的爱是仰视而生。如果爱情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。

Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men.

15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。

Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person.

16.在自己面前，应该一直留有一个地方，独自留在那里。然后去爱。不知道是什么，不知道是谁，不知道如何去爱，也不知道可以爱多久。只是等待一次爱情，也许永远都没有人。可是，这种等待，就是爱情本身。

We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself.

17.有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦?我们总以为那份痴情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻，很轻的。我们以为爱的很深，很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅，很浅。最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。

Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time.

18.在这个世界上，只有真正快乐的男人，才能带给女人真正的快乐。

In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness

19.女人如果不性感，就要感性;如果没有感性，就要理性;如果没有理性，就要有自知之明;如果连这个都没有了，她只有不幸。

If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune.

20.一段不被接受的爱情，需要的不是伤心，而是时间，一段可以用来遗忘的时间。一颗被深深伤了的心，需要的不是同情，而是理解。

An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.

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